I have a word with you to share -
A new-coined verb, "to Ryanair"
That has the usual range of tenses
Plus a subtle spread of senses.
The first concerns the time of flight,
Just after dawn or late at night;
Either way, you'll have a heap
Of problems due to lack of sleep.
The second sense? The awful fag
Of packing just a cabin bag;
The way we simplify our lives
Bereft of liquids, scissors, knives
Ensuring toiletries are still
In pots of less than hundred mill.
"To Ryanair" is thus to seek
To make that one bag last a week.
A third sense on the plane appears:
To have your knees up round your ears
A minimal amount of space
Between the seat back and your face.
As well as time and space, this verb
Means not to let the crew disturb
You with cosmetics, scratch-card games
Or trumpet blasts of "on time" claims.
But don't forget, though tired and weary,
Your prayer of thanks to Saint O'Leary:
The man who patented the wheeze
Of nice low fares and nice high fees.
Though once indeed you are aware
Of how you best can "Ryanair"
You'll then have joined the rest of us
To see it as a flying bus.
