Her favourite, rather dangerous, game
Is racing with her Zimmer frame:
The neighbourhood’s been terrorised
From when she got it motorised.
“Go faster” stripes and racing green;
It is the ultimate machine.
Pedestrians scatter in dismay
If they should see her come their way.
Then off she goes in hot pursuit
With manic hooting “toot, toot, toot.”
“Mad Granny’s coming! Run and hide!”
I heard the panic as they cried
“Just look! The drunken reprobate’s
Now towed behind on roller skates!”
She flashes past – she cannot brake –
And leaves new victims in her wake.
Her neighbours would be more dismayed
To know she’s planning an upgrade!
What does she think would really suit her?
A hotted-up electric scooter!
As fast and, most importantly,
She sneaks up on you silently.
If that should prove the course of fate
On safety grounds, I’ll emigrate!
